weatherchannel8

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 22:47:51 GMT

Pauline: i want to go to the vatican post office. Where is it?

Wc8: it's right next to the Vatican abortion clinic.

Pauline: really? Where?

I've been laughing nonstop. Something is wrong with me. One more day. Supposed to rain.

Our tour guide: Michelangelo was accused of being "a gay."

hilarious

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Fri, 06 Nov 2009 18:59:35 GMT

Pauline keeps comparing Rome to indianapolis. In a way that suggests that they're similar. I'm taking notes of all the ridiculous stuff she's saying. It makes me laugh enough to take the edge off her annoyingness. For now that is.

Florence tomorrow.

I love the city, except for the traffic. Oh, and the people are assholes. And most of the toilets don't have seats. Not that I would dare sit down, but still. Gross. And I got charged 4 euro for a 12 oz coke. We're burning up the credit cards just on food. And we're not eating anything fancy.

Poor heather has been holding on to Pauline everywhere we go. She's falling all over the place. We can't tell if she can't see or if she's just a space cadet. I suspect both.

It is a death trap though. We are definitely spoiled in the US. And I like it.

I've taken close to 700 photos already. It's that awesome and stuff.

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So sore...

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 04:48:23 GMT

Toured Vatican city yesterday. For some reason I was really excited. Pauline made fun of me all day. Um you're catholic, ho.

Pauline fell. Not bad but repeatedly. She looks around and weaves. The people behind her want to kill her. Steps off curbs. Walks out into traffic. Misses steps.

She's so ignorant about Italy. Not that I know everything, but she did "hours and hours" of research yet didn't know what the Sistine chapel looks like or that Florence is is Tuscany. She spent all her time doing "research" on how to avoid getting ass raped by a gang of snuggie-wearing kangaroos in the sewer systems of australia. Because you know how likely that is to happen. Christ.

Hopefully she's not too sore today. My everything hurts so I'm sure hers does too.

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Gah

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 05:00:35 GMT

Today, I make out with the pope. I'm 30% sure this will be against his wishes.

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Mon, 09 Mar 2009 04:50:02 GMT

So that lady I posted about the other day who just had the baby and broke up w/her partner during pregnancy.... well, the baby is not doing well. She had three holes in her heart. Two are closing up on their own, but the worst one isn't. And there's another hole forming. Christ. I'm glad she has a good support network because she's got a scorching case of PPD. How awful. They tried so hard to make this happen and now it's a giant cluster fuck. I feel so sorry for her. We're not close enough for me to offer to help. Plus, I'm afraid of little babies. And she's not even 5 pounds. But I feel like we should do something. Sending a card is pretty lame, but that's what we'll end up doing. I can't think of anything else.

i am the champion

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 00:31:46 GMT

Well, I fixed the lawnmower in about 10 minutes. I am now a cocky bastard. We're going to the neighbors for a beer in about 30 minutes, where I will be bragging, strutting, smacking the ladies' asses, spitting, and grabbing my crotch. Oh, and I'll also tell them that I fixed the lawnmower.

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 15:22:58 GMT

I'm in love with mother nature today. I know, I know. I'm just going to get hurt. It's all good now, but in a few short days, she'll burn me and I'll be left sitting in a pool of my own sweat, wondering what went wrong. But just let us have our fun and then help me pick up the pieces when she's done with me.

Thu, 25 Jan 2007 18:28:00 GMT

Mon, 22 Jan 2007 06:41:02 GMT

Okay, who comes from behind like that? There was a tear in my beer at half time.

My throat is on fire. Heather and I can't sleep. Jesus. And we had a lot of beer.

Unbelievable.

Sun, 14 Jan 2007 16:00:32 GMT

I am hurting this morning. It's a good day to lie around on the couch and watch more football. Go Bears.

Tue, 26 Dec 2006 14:38:22 GMT

My Christmas was very, very good. My aunt and cousin ended up not coming over because they had unexpected company. Sigh. Of course they didn't tell us for sure that they weren't coming until about 6 pm, but that was okay. Originally we planned on going to a movie, but instead we watched two entire games of football. I don't think we've ever just hung out by ourselves on Christmas Day before. I'm a huge fan. Well, Pauline came over for a few hours, but that wasn't a big deal.

It rained all freakin' day but then it turned to giant snowflakes around midnight. It was our first snowfall this year. It's barely covering the ground but it was very pretty when it was falling.

Today we'll probably shop for a bit and then maybe go to a movie. Michael is stopping by later.

Hope you all had a nice christmas too.

Sat, 23 Dec 2006 06:40:16 GMT

Tonight was fun. Except we just got home. I had to do a few things for work so I figured I'd post as well.

When we started opening presents, my niece Lauren chose the gift from us first. We got her an ant farm (she asked for it... I wasn't a genius or anything). When she opened it she got so excited that she jumped across the room to hug me. Which resulted in me getting a bloody lip. It was pretty funny and cute. Except for the bloody part.

My mom didn't get the results of her test and she didn't talk about it either. I rode with my dad to pick up dinner and he explained everything that was going on. Basically they found a "spot" and she had to get an additional mammogram and an MRI or something. He wasn't sure what it was. So they should know next week. I think she didn't want to know while we were there, just in case it was bad news. I really feel like it's fine, though. Every once in a while I'd look at her and I could tell she was thinking about it.

My mom made me and my sister a photo album with all of her old pictures of her family. My grandfather was dead by the time I was born, so it was nice to see pictures of him. I saw a picture of his mother and my mom looks *just* like her. It's bizarre. What a great gift.

On the way to pick up dinner, an ambulance tore by us and someone was performing cpr on the person in the back. That made me sick to my stomach. I like to believe that stuff like that doesn't happen. It's hard to pretend when it's right in your face.

The drive home was torture. Heather had been drinking so it was all me. I almost missed our street.. Heather tried to stay awake to keep me company but she had a hard time.

Tomorrow another two hour drive. At least we can sleep in though.

Thu, 21 Dec 2006 04:56:46 GMT

Spent the late evening wrapping presents. I suck. So bad that Heather cuts the paper out for me and kind of tells me how to do it. I don't know what's wrong with me.

I like the way the tree looks with presents underneath it. Too bad it will only be for a few days. That's what we get for procrastinating.

My sister called tonight and said my mom has to go to champaign tomorrow to have a second mammogram. Apparently they found something. The doctor said she wasn't too concerned about it. So that's what we're going with. Mom didn't call me. I'm not calling her either. If I do, she might worry that it's something when it probably isn't.

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 18:48:05 GMT

Last night we went to a bar to watch the game. I'm tired of going out, but it was fun.

This morning I drove to the complete opposite side of town to turn over some cash to my retirement guy. I know it pays off in the end, but it's painful to hand over that much money. While I was there I saw my accountant, who will take more of my money in March. Bastards.

Then I tried to go xmas shopping, but I'm too tired and fussy. I haven't felt good for a few days. Not sure what's going on. but we have to go out again in an hour or so to finish up. we waited too late. Idiots.

Tonight we have chloe's play. Tomorrow we have dinner with our realtor. I'm sick of having plans every night, dammit.

And people are driving like assholes.

I can't find one of my credit cards. I know it's in the house somewhere, but I can't remember what I did with it. this is driving me crazy.

Sun, 17 Dec 2006 03:52:05 GMT

Had a reasonably good time with my relatives tonight. My cousin is a dumbass. He's one of those types who is a really good person, but has no self-esteem so he tries to impress people and usually does so in a completely idiotic way. He insisted on paying for dinner. I imagine the bill was approx $40. He left a $20 tip, and made sure we all knew he did. I'm all for tipping well, but that's odd.

He goes out to the "clubs" several times a week. Hi, you're 34. And my aunt *hates* his friends. He's "dating" several girls (whores who are using him for his money). Tonight he had to go home and "suit up" to go to a strip club. Him and his buddies wear extremely nice suits to the "clubs", thinking that girls are going to be impressed by this. I'm sure there are some girls who are, but they're complete trash. He drives a Cadillac. He's a mess. I feel really sorry for him and want to punch him in the face at the same time.

My aunt stayed at our house until 10ish. Heather was falling asleep sitting up on the couch. I was embarrassed.

The potato's cyst/tumor is bleeding. We keep finding drops of blood on the floor. This can't be good.

We only need the first sentence of this story

Fri, 15 Dec 2006 21:15:26 GMT

NEW YORK (Reuters) -- Actress Natasha Lyonne, a star of "American Pie" who was accused of threatening to sexually molest a dog, turned herself in at a New York court Friday.

puke

Fri, 15 Dec 2006 21:09:00 GMT

Um. Heather's work buddy just dropped off beer for tonight. He bought Heineken and Blue Moon. I can tolerate Blue Moon, but Heineken makes me want to hurl. And he bought salami. Gross. And 7-Up. Need I go on?

the best email ever

Fri, 15 Dec 2006 20:44:17 GMT

This is from an author. He's super-duper religious. Awesome.

Hi Jenny,

Shat kind of text needs to go in there? Do you have an example that I can look at?

Les

Fri, 15 Dec 2006 19:51:12 GMT

So our house has two small satellite dishes on it -- one in the front landscaping and one on the back roof. The previous owners didn't take them. So, I called the company and asked them to come take them down. They won't do it. Said I could do it and just throw them away. Are you kidding me? They look new. Shouldn't they want to reuse them? Christ, what a waste.

and am i going to die trying to remove them? we'll see.

Fri, 15 Dec 2006 19:21:42 GMT

http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/12/15/bush.cheney.reut/index.html

this made me chuckle until the very end. this quote:

Cheney's pregnancy has drawn fire from some conservatives, including James Dobson, chairman of the Focus on the Family lobbying group, who has clashed with the Bush administration in the past.

"We should not enter into yet another untested and far-reaching social experiment, this one driven by the desires of same-sex couples to bear and raise children," Dobson said in a recent commentary published on the organization's Web site.

However, he said his position was not meant to "harm or insult women such as Cheney and Poe."

The last line is my favorite. Like if I said to him: "you're a waste of human life and a giant prick face... but I mean no offense."

Fri, 15 Dec 2006 15:50:34 GMT

People aren't coming over until 8:30 tonight. That either means that it will be a very late night, or it will be a dud of a party. I'm kind of hoping that it will be a dud. We've had enough crazy parties this year. Plus everyone but us has kids. So they do have to pay babysitters.

Tomorrow my aunt cindy and cousin danny are coming over in the afternoon. we're going out to eat and then just the girls are going xmas shopping. i like her very much, but sometimes she's hard to talk to. We don't have much in common. And danny is perfectly nice. But he's a month younger than me and still goes to the "clubs" every night. Seriously. And he has a really good job, too. He dates complete white trash turds. We've met one girlfriend his entire 34 years and she was just awful, but surprisingly not as bad as i expected.

One time we drove him to a family wedding and he told us that he likes girls with "a little eth-in-ticity". Hi, you're an idiot. I didn't correct him, though. And on the way home, we stopped at a gas station and he had to pee. So, instead of going in the bathroom, he went behind the gas station. When I asked him why he did that (I already knew, but I wanted to hear him say it), he said, "it's a guy thing." I told him that none of my guy friends would do such a thing. He said, "you don't understand." Which led me to point out that we're gay and he should consider that it might be a tad bit insulting to us for him to say/do such a thing. His reply, "but you're girls." Christ. I'm sure my aunt wants us to set him up with someone. First of all, we don't know many single straight girls, and the ones we do know would punch me directly in the face for that nightmare.

crazy banter ahead... read with caution

Thu, 14 Dec 2006 18:55:42 GMT

I am fussy for no reason. I woke up in a decent mood. It all turned when I went downstairs and saw how messy the kitchen was. So, that's it. I'm fussy because the kitchen was a mess. I cleaned it and I'm still fussy. I even vacuumed the downstairs. Still fussy. It might have something to do with the fact that we're hosting Heather's work xmas party Friday night. We dont have to make anything for it, but the house has to be clean. Perhaps that's my problem. Maybe in my crazy head I'm thinking that she should do most of the cleaning because it's her work party. But then I was all for hosting it, so that wouldn't be fair. I think I'm trying to fight the urge to climb on the cross. That's my first reaction (I learned this from the pro--my mom). So, apparently I just worked through something. I'm glad I could share it with you all. I already feel better. I'm removing the cross from my back and going to the movies with amber and the girls.

Mon, 13 Nov 2006 20:00:17 GMT

This is my 6th post of the day. Add in the fact that I almost died (perhaps a little dramatic) and nearly burned the house down and I think it's clear that I don't want to work today.

wtf on so many levels

Fri, 10 Nov 2006 04:09:02 GMT

http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/asiapcf/11/09/india.eunuchs.ap/index.html

Tue, 07 Nov 2006 21:17:47 GMT

Britney is divorcing K-Fed. Shocking.